You can't go home again


venice canals, originally uploaded by lily green.

Tomorrow morning I'm flying off to spend a week in the OC (don't call it that) and then the week after that I'll be in a tiny northern town called Paradise.

I grew up in Santa Monica, CA, but it's been years since I thought of it as 'home'. The last time I was there, a couple years ago, I felt like a tourist. The restaurants I went to as a kid were still there, but had become glossier, more expensive versions of themselves.
The old Promenade -- which we used to stroll down on our way home from school for ice mocha lattes and to gaze adoringly at the cute guy who worked at NaNa's (that was mostly me) -- has been cleaned up and the big fancy brand-name stores have moved in. No more funky Indian clothing shop, no more indie record shop, no more dark coffee house to play cards in late into the night.

But my favorite thing, the thing that fills my heart with joy whenever I wake up in California, was unchanged. The sunlight.
Now, I've been under the Tuscan sun, and it is indeed magical. But there is something about the SoCal morning sunlight that lifts the spirit and fills you with a sense of hopefulness and possibility. Colors look fresh, the air feels clean, the sky seems impossibly high.
So I am looking forward to Saturday morning, to waking up in my cousins' pastel-colored house, minutes away from the Pacific Ocean.

It's not home, but it's not foreign -- it's something lovely in between.

NaNo update #2

Writing is an exploration. You start from nothing and learn as you go.

– E. L. Doctorow

When I began writing a week ago, the blank page was like this photo -- I was peering into the unknown. It was dark and amorphous, but I could tell there were beautiful, alive things hidden in the ether. And the closer I look, the more I pay attention, things emerge from the clouds.
The story is taking its time, I am far behind in word count, but word by word it grows brighter, truer, more tangible.
I don't know where I'm going, but the road there is strewn with stars.

In a word...


First Lines, originally uploaded by Manuela Hoffmann.

Any writing I do this month should be going towards my NaNo novel, but this brief, One-Word-Answer questionnaire I saw at Posie Gets Cozy looked fun (again with my weakness for lists... could I write my entire novel just using lists? No? Bummer.)



Where is your mobile phone? Storage
Where is your significant other? North
Your hair colour? Coffee
Your mother? Pushy
Your father? Tired
Your favourite thing? Hugs
Your dream last night? Frenetic
Your dream goal? Home
The room you're in? Green
Your hobby? LOA
Your fear? Earthquakes
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Aligned
Where were you last night? Sushi
What you're not? Pessimistic
One of your wish-list items? Bug
Where you grew up? Oktoberfest
The last thing you did? Burned
What are you wearing? PJs
Your TV? Off
Your pets? Insatiable
Your computer? Addictive
Your mood? Anticipatory
Missing someone? Always
Your car? Imaginary
Something you're not wearing? Nailpolish
Favourite shop? AE
Your summer? Hot
Love someone? Always
Your favourite colour? Green
When is the last time you laughed? Dwight
When is the last time you cried? Tuesday


i have it., originally uploaded by Pocket Farmer.

Sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be.
- Don Quixote

NaNo update #1


2008-12-26 12-51-06_0083, originally uploaded by gregoriopulos.

If I become a little scarce around this blog, you can find me here.
'Here' being the place in my head where I've been spending most of my waking hours since embarking on this "novel".
This is the setting my characters live in -- it's remote, woodsy, and snows a lot.
My characters, well, they are still kind of pod-like, but showing faint signs of life. I have hope they will do something interesting soon.
Trying to write this much after an almost decade-long hiatus is like trying to run a marathon without any training.
But it's wonderful. I love it here.